It’s not where you grow up…it’s where you end up that counts

It’s not where you grow’s where you end up that countsIt’s not where you grow up…it’s where you end up that counts.  It sounds simple but understanding and embracing something that simple can change lives.  Our future will be determined by our response to our environment better known as our circumstances.   We enjoy rags to riches stories because they prove that success can come to anyone who works for it.  Success comes to anyone willing to learn and grow.

Who’s in control?
We have choices.  If we accept that we are a product of our circumstances, then we will be like a leaf floating on a pond.  We will go where the current takes us. When our circumstances over whelm us, liked a soaked leave, we will simply sink to the bottom of the pond.  But, if we believe that we can respond to and change our circumstances, we will determine where life’s current will take us.

You don’t under stand my circumstances.
“But you don’t understand my circumstances.”  We hear that a lot these days  and I simply ask, “What are you doing to change?”  It stops people in their tracks.

I may not understand your circumstances but we can probably find someone with similar circumstances who changed, worked and grew through them.  It’s not so much the how they changed, it is why and what motivated them to change.

You can’t change where you grow up…but you determine where you end up.  Don’t get caught under your circumstances.  You can’t change the past.  The past represents everything that you have learned up until today.  The past can’t be changed but the past determined where you are today.  What you have learned to this day and what you learn today and tomorrow will determine where you will be tomorrow and in the future.

Who has my keys?
That means that you own the keys to your future.  Success or failure will be determined by your willingness to grow and change.  Growth requires energy but change requires an attitude…a vision of what is to come.  Even the perfect flower must go through growth and change.  We see it as a bud, a blossom, a beautiful flower and then the seeds for future flowers.   Some flowers take longer to blossom and produce seeds but the process is the same.  Patience.  Persistence.

The attitude for change
Our desire for change comes from what we have learned to this day about our past and what we might achieve in the future.  Our decision to change will be based on our belief that we can direct changes for our future.  It’s the Attitude for success. Education is the foundation for any success whether it involves the family, our person, our business or our profession.  If we do not embrace education as the foundation for change, we cannot change.

You can’t change where you grow up…but you determine where you end up.
What ever is holding you back, your circumstances, can be changed.  It starts with a decision.

Do I need to change?
Two things are important:

  1. We must recognize that education is mandatory for success.
  2. We must be willing to commit to the education process. Become a student.

Tough Questions:

  1. Are you happy where you are?
  2. Are you willing to change in order to have change? To grow?
  3. Are you willing to make the ultimate commitment to change?

Tough Answers

  1. I’m happy but willing to change.  I learn from everything I do. You see what you are doing as the foundation for future endeavors…and great success. Greatest potential.
  2. I’m unhappy, willing to change and willing to commit to my future.

You will achieve your dreams. Unlimited success.

  1. I’m unhappy, willing to change but I’m too busy right now.  There is too much stuff going on in my life.  Reasons and excuses will dominate the conversation.
  2. I’m unhappy, but I’m not willing to make any changes.    Quit complaining and get ‘happy’!

How do I change?
For change to be beneficial, it must accomplish a goal.  So the first order of business is to set your goal.  Where do you want to be in five years?  What specifically do you want to change and when? Change for the sake of change is fruitless.  It’s like exchanging one fat food for another fat food and expecting to loose weight.  You have altered your diet (change) with no chance of loosing weight (goal).

You can do it but you can’t do it alone.  Surround yourself with an educational support system.  That means books, coaches, mentors and people who will embrace your vision of your success.  Initially your support system may be found in books and education material.  You may have to help the people around you see and understand your vision.

Truly successful people are always willing to help others to become successful.  That is the common trait of successful people.  They surround them selves with successful people, become successful and then reach out to help others. Reach out to successful people, and then listen and learn.  You can do it!

It not how long it takes to reach your goals, it’s that you don’t quit on the journey.  It begins with a decision.  You can’t change where you grow up … but you determine where you end up.  You can do it!

Read: Chapter 12, Circles of Influence, Grandpa And Andy, by Dr Richard B Liposky at

In the next article, let’s explore the four elements that affect change:  Books, People, Time, and Attitude.

Dr R B Liposky

Seeds: Wheat or Weeds

Wheat or Weeds There are many biblical references to ‘reap what you sow’. But even if your persuasion is not biblically founded, the principle applies in our daily lives. We can reflect on our current circumstances and sometime blame life for dealing us a bad hand…a poor harvest. But if we just stop, catch our breath and think about how we got to where we are today, we would see that we planted a few wrong seeds or planted them in a weed patch.

Coming from the farm, I learned very early that you don’t mess with Mother Nature. You reap what you sow. Planting the right seeds in the right ground at the right time gave us the best chance to harvest the right crop. We seeded clover just after the last spring snowfall. We planted oats before the last frost and planted corn after the last frost. We planted wheat after harvesting the oats in late summer. We spread manure in the winter and spring on the old cornfields and after the last hay was harvested, we spread the manure on the old hay fields before planting the corn in the spring.

Look at something as simple as wheat seeds and weed seeds. Wheat is grown for consumption…to feed us. Weeds grow to consume us. It takes the same amount of energy to plant a wheat seed or a weed seed. What happens after the seed in planted makes the difference as to whether we have food or just a lot of weeds.

Weed seeds are numerous and diverse. There are more varieties of weeds than there are wheat seeds. Weed seeds can lay dormant in soil for years. They adapt to adverse growing conditions and thrive in ideal growing conditions. Weed seeds are resilient and resourceful. If you wanted to quickly cover exposed soil, plant weeds.

The wheat seeds simply don’t grow in poor soil. They like not too much or too little moisture, comfortable temperatures, and adequate sunlight and wheat plants prefer to be surrounded by other wheat plants. Sort of a community affair. But the weeds just don’t care. They grow where they want, when they want and with whom ever they want.

Just like in the soil where there are weed seeds lying dormant, waiting for the opportunity to grow, there are life’s weed seeds that surround us, waiting for the opportunity to consume us. Life’s weeds seeds come in many varieties from dysfunctional family support to misleading or agenda driven social and community environments. The important thing to remember is that you are the fertile ground for life’s wheat or life’s weeds to grow.

There is a saying, ‘where we are today is based on the books we read and the people we know’. We can change it to say, ‘where we are today is based on the type of seeds that we grow’. We can grow life’s wheat seeds in order to consume (have a life style of our choosing) or we can let life’s weeds sow them selves and consume us (have a life style dictated by others).

The farmer has a choice to make. Will he cultivate the wheat and eliminate the harmful effects of the weeds or will he neglect his food crop at the expense of the weeds. He will either enjoy loaves of bread just the way he likes it or he will eat weeds and complain about the taste and not having any bread.

It’s interesting that once the farmer was able to make bread, the weed farmers felt that they should have some of the farmer’s bread.

“You reap what you sow,” he said. “It will take hard work. You will have to sort the wheat seeds from the weed seeds and constantly watch out for new weeds.”

When you harvest your life’s wheat, there will be life’s weed farmers out there who just want a little of your success. Be a good farmer and teach them how to plant their own life’s wheat. If they listen, you perpetuated life’s wheat harvest and they will eat for generations. If they don’t listen, they will find that some weeds are OK if cooked in vinegar and garlic until they are tender.

How can you tell the difference between life’s wheat and life’s weed seeds?
In the new book, Grandpa And Andy, Grandpa talks about five principals to live by and by doing so you will know whether you are growing life’s wheat or life’s weeds. Your personal success and lifestyle will be determined by how you understand and live these principals.

Grandpa’s Legacy
1. Know the difference between right and wrong and always choose right.
2. Be accountable for your actions. Take personal responsibility.
3. Never quit learning. Always be a student but become a teacher.
4. Change the things that can be changed and don’t worry about the things that can’t be changed.
5. Help your neighbor. Help the people who want to be helped and don’t worry about the people who don’t want to be helped.

What do you do when you have weeds in your garden?
You recognize the weeds and pull them out one at a time. Some people find themselves surrounded by life’s weeds. Rather than pull them out, they try to live with in the weeds. Weeds will out grow wheat every time. If you have a bad influence (life weed) in your garden, either get rid of it or move your garden.

There are always people out there to help the people who want to be helped. Like the farmer told the weed farmers, ‘I’ll teach you how to grow wheat…if you want to eat bread (change your life style) but if you just want to eat my bread (don’t change your lifestyle), it’s probably best you learn to like cooked weeds.

You can choose your lifestyle or you can live the lifestyle that someone chooses for you: Wheat or Weeds